Whole30 Observations 19 Days In

As some of you know, I started Whole30 on the first of the year as a sort of religious fast that didn’t involve me actually half starving myself. Nothing against the other kinds of fasts of course. Jesus was a fan of them. But in a household with two young boys where the lovely Mrs. Miller and I both work full-time, it didn’t seem fair to become weak and listless on purpose. I’ll emaciate myself in a different season of lif.

For those who don’t know, Whole30 is a program where you give up all alcohol,  dairy, sugar, grains, and legumes for 30 days. Most people do it to cleanse their bodies and identify any foods that are giving them problems er, downstairs shall we say? I did it mainly because it sounded difficult but not unhealthy. Observations and advice below:

  1. Be prepared for some intense dreams in the first two weeks. I don’t know if this is how sugary carb withdrawal works for everyone, but I certainly had a few nights where I found myself in urban zombie warfare or physically impossible car accidents. This phenomenon has since faded which suggests my body has adjusted to the new world order.
  2. Sugar and soy are in EVERYTHING. Your first shopping trip is going to be hard. I learned that 95% of the bacon on the market is cured with sugar and therefore out of bounds. That innocuous water in your canned tuna? Soy broth.
  3. Your sense of taste improves. I’ve been snacking from a sack of unroasted, unsalted pecan halves and in the past week their flavor and complexity has improved dramatically.
  4. Say goodbye to the food coma. I used to associate a food coma with a large meal. It turns out, the real cause was processed carbs and sugar. Once I cut the sugar and the grains, all I felt was full not sleepy.
  5. I miss cheese and booze. A lot. I’ve started planning my first day of back to normal like I’m invading Normandy. I found a restaurant that just serves french fries. Once I hit day 31 I’m gonna destroy it and then get a fancy growler IPA and destroy that too. I’m also looking into BBQ joints to put out of business that day.

Later, dorks.



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